By William Schroeder, LPC and clinically reviewed by Teri Schroeder, LCSW
What Is Investment in a Relationship?
There are many factors that determine whether a relationship is successful or not, but one research study by Caryl Rusbult and her colleagues looked at what keeps people committed. Their investment model measures four things: how much you have invested, how satisfied you are, how good your alternatives look, and your level of commitment. More satisfaction and bigger investments go with stronger commitment; attractive alternatives pull the other way. This isn’t to say that a relationship with these things can’t fail, it just means that the investment is greater and it is associated with more positive outcomes.
4 Factors That Predict Commitment in a Relationship
- Size of their investment: When a couple’s social worlds overlap, with lots of shared family and friends, leaving becomes much less likely. Think about the couple that has been together since high school or maybe their families were closely connected. Another example of investment can be financial. Financial connections to one another, like buying a house, starting a business, etcetera can also be factors that increase connection.
- Satisfaction: How well does the relationship meet your needs? Think about closeness, companionship, sex, security and feeling understood. In Rusbult’s research, people who were more satisfied with their relationships were also more committed to them.
- Comparison level for alternatives: Devaluing vs over valuing or more simply put, comparison shopping in relationships. Examples of this include people who are constantly comparing their partner to others in their lives and valuing the positive traits of that comparison over their partner. This can be a slippery slope as this can grow into feelings about a coworker or a friend which can begin the process of an emotional affair.
- Your beliefs about staying together: This is simply put as being with someone no matter what. You mean it when you say through sickness and in health in marriage. This can be tough for some to stomach as both people change in relationships and marriage. Sometimes these changes are for the better, sometimes they are more challenging. Those who highly value commitment are in it for the long haul and will work through whatever difficulties may arise. They value their commitment to their partner above all else. A few questions to ask yourself: What is your philosophy on commitment? What was your parents’ marriage like? What has your commitment to previous relationships been like? Is this one different, and why?
All of the above said, when those things have been weakened, the challenge is to see what an individual can do to work on strengthening their relationship investment: stop comparison shopping, increase their satisfaction and commitment by looking for ways to build them, and looking for opportunities to increase their investment (socially, financially, etc) in the relationship. If areas are weak, they can be rebuilt. This often becomes a goal in couples counseling.
For more on keeping a relationship strong, read Why Time is Important in Relationships and How Do You Know If Your Relationship Will Last? If you’d like help with your own relationship, you can make an appointment with one of our couples therapists.
If trust is the sticking point, John Gottman explains how couples build it in this short video from the Greater Good Science Center.
