By Shannon Haragan, LPC
If your frequently feel dread before a big event, learning how to reduce anticipatory anxiety can help calm your nervous system and help you regain control.
By now, you’ve probably heard that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. Or, as Jerry Seinfeld puts it, “If you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” One of the reasons for this irony is the unknown versus the known: Generally speaking, we don’t know when we’re going to die, but we do know when we’ll be expected to stand up and give a speech in front of an audience. This leaves plenty of room for our minds and nervous systems to play all kinds of tricks on us.
Truth is, life offers many occasions that fire up our nervous systems and fight-or-flight responses. The anticipation of a these events often generates symptoms such as an increased heart rate, shallow breathing, nausea, as well as negative thoughts (the dreaded “what ifs?”), and uncomfortable levels of fear.
Your kiddos may have experienced some of this recently as they prepared for their first day at school. Or you may have experienced it on a first date, a job interview, or even before going to the dentist. Though a little bit of anxiety can help motivate you and give you focus, sometimes that little bit can become super-sized.
What is Anticipatory Anxiety?
Anticipatory anxiety is the intense dread, worry, or fear that occurs before a future event actually takes place. While it is not an independent clinical diagnosis in the DSM-5, it serves as a central feature across several clinical anxiety spectrums.
When anticipatory anxiety takes hold, your brain’s fear center (the amygdala) activates as if the perceived threat is happening right now. Your mind spends hours, days, or even weeks constructing elaborate “worst-case scenario” stories. The body then reacts to these mental stories by producing real psychic distress- creating a cycle where fear of the unknown feeds on itself.
Common Types and Triggers of Anticipatory Anxiety
Anticipatory anxiety manifests differently depending on the specific triggers underlying conditions involved:
- Performance & Social Anticipatory Anxiety: Driven by a fear of judgement, failure, or embarrassing oneself in public. Common examples include public speaking, taking tests, job interviews, or social gatherings.
- Panic-related Anticipatory Anxiety (Fear of fear): Common among individuals who experience panic attacks. The dread centers on the anticipation of having another panic attack in a public or inescapable location.
- Phobic Anticipatory Anxiety: Triggered by specific phobias- such as dreading an upcoming flight, a medical or dental appointment, or driving after an accident.
- Generalized/ Health & Safety Anxiety: Persistent “what-if” thoughts surrounding worst-case health outcomes, natural disasters, job loss, or the safety of loved ones.
4 Tips on How to Reduce Anticipatory Anxiety
1) Breathe!
The psychiatrist and founder of Gestalt Therapy, Fritz Perls, said, “Fear is excitement without the breath.” Anxiety and excitement are similar in how we physically experience them. If we’re able to concentrate on slowing down and deepening our breath, not only will it soothe our nerves, slow down our heart rates and loosen tension locked in our muscles, but it can also help to transform the anxiety into a greater sense of excitement.
2) Imagine a successful outcome.
Our brains are built for protection, so when our nervous systems are aroused, it makes sense that our brains naturally scan for the worst-case scenario, in order to be fully prepared. But the more we focus on the “what ifs” and potential disasters, the more likely those things are to happen. Additionally, those thoughts will generate and perpetuate negative feelings, such as nervousness and feelings of insecurity. What is the “good” that this event can lead to? If your mental patterns are generally rooted in the negative, become aware of them, and instead, direct your thoughts toward success.
3) Do your research!
Anticipatory anxiety often occurs as a result of a lack of preparation. Needing to prepare for an event seems more obvious if it’s for a job interview or a test at school, but what about going to a kickboxing class for the first time or having to make a super quick flight connection in an unknown airport?
Thankfully, most of us have access to information easily and instantaneously these days. Google, Bing or Quora away, and then do it some more! Search for videos of kickboxing movements, airport maps, or whatever information will equip you enough to feel a little more prepared. This turns the unknown into a-little-more-known, which can result in a decrease of anxiety and increase in feelings of confidence.
4) Plan to do something fun after the event.
There’s no need to be extravagant here, but what is something you can genuinely look forward to? Drinks with a friend? Getting a massage? Taking your kids out for ice cream after the recital? Whatever makes you happy, write it in your calendar and plan for it after the big event. Being able to look forward to something helps further dilute those feelings of nervousness and motivate you forward.
Clinical Approaches to Addressing Anticipatory Anxiety
When self-help strategies aren’t enough to quiet the mental chatter, evidence-based therapy can help retrain your nervous system.
At our practice, we utilize several specialized modalities- you can read a full breakdown of our clinical methods here. Below are some of the treatment options we offer:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps identify and change the thoughts that fuel anxiety through systematically breaking down the “what-if” thought loops.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Uses acceptance and mindfulness strategies alongside commitment and behavior-change techniques. Instead of fighting or trying to control painful thoughts and feelings, you learn to embrace them as normal human experiences while taking action aligned with your core personal values.
- EMDR Therapy: This becomes useful when anticipatory dread stems from past traumatic events if negative core beliefs about your safety and ability to cope. Learn more about how EMDR works for anxiety in our step-by-step therapist overview.
- Exposure Therapy: A behavioral treatment designed to help people face their fears in a safe, controlled environment by gradually and repeatedly confronting avoided objects, situations, or memories so the brain learns that feared outcomes are unlikely to happen, breaking the cycle of avoidance and anxiety.
- Mindfulness-Based Therapy: This trains your attention to step out of anxious thinking. This is best for chronic worry, rumination, and stress-driven anxiety.
Get Guidance from an Austin Therapist
Anticipatory anxiety can be uncomfortable, but if you’re willing to give it some time and attention, you may find the anxiety decreasing enough to allow for a more positive experience overall.
If you would like guidance from a counselor to reduce your anxiety, you can make a counseling appointment and we can show you evidence based techniques and skills to overcome your difficulties.
If you would like an overview of the process prior to making your decision, we have a page dedicated to anxiety counseling. Additionally, you can read Tips for Managing Election Anxiety and The Simplest Way to Overcome Anxiety and Depression.
