By William Schroeder, LPC, NCC and clinically reviewed by Teri Schroeder, LCSW
What did you do last night? Odds are most of you fell into the same technology trap that I did and the next thing you knew it was time to go to bed. Did you bring your phone to bed with you as well and scroll as you went to sleep? The fix I keep coming back to is technology timeouts: set stretches of time when the phone is out of reach, not just out of mind.
It’s a bad pattern that keeps becoming more pervasive, so much so that NPR ran a piece asking whether parents are the ones too distracted by devices. As a therapist, I see this come up more and more in counseling. Here are a couple of tips that might seem like common sense but are nonetheless helpful.
I first wrote this post in 2014. The apps have changed since then, but the pattern I see in my office hasn’t, so I’ve kept the original tips and added a few things I’d tell a client today.
7 Tips to Regain Control With Technology Timeouts
- Leave your phone in your car if you go to dinner. How tempting is it if you feel your phone vibrate to want to check it? This pulls us away from our surroundings (friends, loved ones, etc.) and generally distracts us from being totally present.
- Don’t plug in your device next to your bed. Put it in your bathroom or a common area so you can be tech free at night. Harvard Health reports that the light from screens at night suppresses melatonin and can throw off your sleep. A cheap alarm clock solves the “but I need it to wake up” problem.
- Create a workspace on your computer that is free from clutter and is work only, and another that is for personal use. Some people do this with different user accounts, others with different browsers.
- Have a definite end to your workday and vow to plug in to your partner and forget your device. If this is difficult, set specific times to be a “technology timeout.”
- Organize your phone into workspaces. The most important apps are the most visible. I went so far as to label a folder “Time Suck” as a reminder of what that folder truly represents. The items in that folder are also the first to be cut if needed.
- Turn off notifications from most of your apps. Do you really need to be constantly notified of every email and social media update?
- Use a notepad. This seems silly in our digital world, but with our phones having so many distractions built in, a return to the “top 3 things I need to do today” can be very helpful.
Let Your Phone Enforce the Timeout for You
When I wrote the original list, you had to rely on willpower. Now the phone can do some of the work. On an iPhone, a Focus mode can silence everything except the people you choose, and Screen Time can lock certain apps after a set hour. Android has similar tools under Digital Wellbeing, including a Bedtime mode.
Schedule these once so the decision is already made when you’re tired. Evenings are when most of us lose an hour to the scroll.
Notice When You Reach for Your Phone
Take note of the times you are on your phone more often. Were you tired and just stuck in the vortex of the internet? Is it harder to break free when you are tired? If so, maybe you should have a time where you plug in your phone and step away for a bit.
Are you possibly anxious about something and using your phone as a way to distract yourself? If so, tune into what is going on. Find out the source of that anxiety by looking at what is stimulating you when you feel the urge to pull out your phone. Is it work or something with your partner? Pay attention to these things, as those other problems will likely get worse unless you deal with them.
When a Technology Timeout Isn’t Enough
Sometimes the phone is the symptom rather than the problem. If you keep reaching for it even after you’ve decided not to, or you notice the scrolling picks up whenever something at work or at home feels hard, that’s worth talking through with someone. The urge to check is often covering a feeling you’d rather not sit with, and that feeling usually has a lot to tell you.
Our therapists work with adults on exactly this kind of pattern, whether it shows up as anxiety or as distance in a relationship. You can learn more about adult counseling at Just Mind or see our counseling services in Austin.
Liked this post? You can also check out How to Live in the Moment and Don’t Let the Future Hold You Back from the Present Moment.
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
