By William Schroeder, LPC and clinically reviewed by Teri Schroeder, LCSW
Most of us talk about ourselves in parts without noticing. “Part of me wants to go to the party, and part of me wants to stay home.” “I know I shouldn’t text him, but something in me just does it.” The Internal Family Systems model (IFS) takes that everyday language seriously and builds a whole way of doing therapy around it.
Below I walk through what the IFS model is, the kinds of parts it describes, and what a session actually looks like.
What Is the Internal Family Systems Model?
IFS was developed by Richard Schwartz, a family therapist, starting in the 1980s. He noticed that his clients described their inner lives the way families describe each other: some parts were bossy, some were hurt, some kept the peace, and they argued with one another. So he borrowed ideas from family systems therapy and pointed them inward.
The core idea is simple. Your mind is made of many parts, and none of them are bad. Even the ones that cause trouble, like the part that procrastinates or the part that drinks too much, are trying to protect you from something. Underneath all of the parts is what IFS calls the Self: a calm, curious core that can lead the system once the parts trust it.
That is a very different stance from “fix what’s wrong with you.” In IFS, the goal is to get to know your parts, understand what they are protecting, and help them relax out of roles they took on when you needed them.
IFS Parts and Their Roles
IFS sorts parts into two broad groups: protectors and exiles. Protectors come in two styles, managers and firefighters.
Managers
Managers try to keep painful feelings from ever showing up. They plan, criticize, control, people-please, and stay busy. The inner critic that tells you your presentation isn’t ready yet is often a manager. So is the part that over-prepares for every conversation so no one can be disappointed in you.
Firefighters
Firefighters step in after the pain breaks through. Their job is to put out the fire fast, and they don’t care much about the long-term cost. Binge-watching until 2 a.m., drinking, scrolling, raging, or shutting down can all be firefighter moves. They look like the problem, but they are reacting to something that already hurts.
Exiles
Exiles are usually younger parts that carry the shame, fear, or grief from hard experiences. The protectors keep them locked away because their feelings are overwhelming. An exile might hold the belief “I’m not enough” or “I’m going to be left.” When something in the present brushes against that old wound, the protectors jump into action.
Here’s how that can play out. Your partner forgets to text back. An exile feels abandoned. A manager starts drafting the perfectly reasonable message that proves you’re fine. When that doesn’t calm things down, a firefighter picks a fight or reaches for a drink. Every one of those parts is trying to help.
The Self and the 8 Cs
The Self is not another part. It’s who you are when your parts step back. Schwartz describes it through eight qualities, often called the 8 Cs: calmness, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness.
You don’t have to build the Self. IFS assumes everyone has one, even people who have been through a lot of trauma. It just gets crowded out. A quick way to check whether you’re in Self is to notice how you feel toward a part. If you feel annoyed or afraid of it, another part is probably talking. If you feel curious, you’re closer to Self.
What Happens in an IFS Therapy Session?
IFS sessions are slower and more inward than a typical talk therapy hour. A therapist will usually help you:
- Find a part. Notice a feeling, thought, or body sensation, like tightness in your chest when you think about work.
- Get to know it. Ask what it’s worried would happen if it stopped doing its job. Protectors usually have a good reason.
- Build trust. Once a protector feels understood, it will often let you get closer to the exile it’s guarding.
- Help the exile unburden. The exile gets to be witnessed and can let go of the belief or feeling it has carried. After that, the protectors don’t need to work so hard.
This doesn’t happen in one session, and a good IFS therapist won’t rush it. Going at the pace your protectors allow is part of what makes the approach feel safe, especially for people with trauma.
What IFS Can Help With
Therapists use IFS for trauma and PTSD, anxiety, depression, shame and harsh self-criticism, relationship patterns, and habits that feel out of your control. Because it doesn’t treat any part as an enemy, many people find it easier to look at things they have avoided for years.
The research is promising but still small. A 2013 randomized trial in people with rheumatoid arthritis found improvements in pain, depression, and self-compassion, and a 2022 pilot study of adults with PTSD from childhood trauma found meaningful drops in PTSD symptoms. Larger studies are still needed, so IFS works best as one tool among several rather than a cure-all.
Is IFS a Good Fit for You?
IFS tends to click for people who already say “a part of me” when they talk about themselves. It also fits people who understand their patterns but still feel stuck, or who want to work on trauma without being flooded by it. It may not be the first choice for someone in an acute crisis or dealing with psychosis, where stabilization comes first.
You can also try a little on your own. Next time you notice a strong reaction, pause and ask, “Which part of me is this, and what is it afraid of?” You may be surprised by the answer. If you’d like to go further with a trained guide, our therapists offer Internal Family Systems therapy in Austin and by telehealth. You can make an appointment to get started. If you liked this post, you may also enjoy what Pixar’s Inside Out teaches us about emotions, which works with a similar idea of parts.
