I work with many clients in my therapy practice who have experienced trauma and at times get triggered. In fact, most of us have experienced some degree of trauma in our lives and can get triggered by anything that reminds us of that traumatic event. So, it’s not uncommon to be searching for ways to calm your nervous system after being triggered.
When your nervous system gets triggered, it’s taking you back to a time when you didn’t feel safe. This can happen even if your logical brain knows you’re okay. What you do when you’re triggered depends on how activated you feel physically. The work is to find ways to regulate your nervous system and return to a sense of safety. Here are a few ways I have found are helpful to bring you back to a calmer state.
Grounding Exercises for the Present Moment
Grounding exercises can help to bring your mind and body back to the present and help you feel more present in your body. Try these techniques:
- The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
- Neutral Observation: Look around slowly and find neutral or pleasant objects. Notice three distinct qualities of each.
- Physical Pressure: Simply putting your hand on your head and gently pressing down can provide a sense of containment.
Using Breathwork to Signal Safety
When we’re triggered, we might hold our breath, hyperventilate, or notice shallow breathing. For many people (me included), taking a full deep breath—inhaling for a count of four and taking a longer, slow exhale for a count of six or seven—signals to the vagus nerve that it can calm down.
The vagus nerve is the main nerve of our parasympathetic nervous system. It signals “rest and digest” as opposed to the sympathetic nervous system, which is our survival state of fight, flight, or freeze.
Movement and Temperature Shifts
Movement is another wonderful way to bring you back into your body and help calm the nervous system. When I notice that a client is beginning to dissociate or seem less present in session, I might throw a pillow for them to catch or ask them to stand up and balance on one leg. Even pressing your hands together for a few seconds can release stress hormones that have built up.
Another helpful strategy is to wash your face with cool water or hold an ice cube in your hand. The sudden change in temperature can help your system “reset.”
How to Manage the “Freeze” Response
I have a client who grew up with parents who yelled a lot, so when her partner raises his voice, she gets triggered and freezes. If you ever feel frozen or shut down, it helps to:
- Self-Soothe: Gently rub your arms or thighs.
- Find Texture: Hold something textured or warm, like a favorite mug, a soft blanket, or a smooth stone.
- Vocalize: Hum or sing quietly. According to Peter Levine, an expert in trauma, the vibration can help activate your vagus nerve.
- Release Emotion: Sometimes it simply helps to cry, name what you are feeling, or journal for a few minutes to release the feelings trapped in your body.
Building Your Personal Regulation Toolkit
Once the intensity of the emotion has passed, try to remember what helped you calm down, even if just a little bit. We tend to forget.
Write down in a journal what helped, make a voice memo, or keep a list on your phone so you can refer to it in the future. Also, know that what worked one time might not work the next, so it’s important to have different strategies to try.
Reframing the experience of being triggered is helpful. It’s your internal protectors who are trying to keep you safe. We all can get triggered at times, especially in a chaotic world. Our closest relationships can trigger trauma from our past as well, so having tools to calm your nervous system can make a huge difference in the quality of your life and relationships.
Start Your Healing Journey
If you find yourself struggling with triggers frequently, PTSD therapy or anxiety counseling can help you build long-term resilience.
