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I wanted to share some thoughts on divorce and separation. When you are faced with divorce, you quickly realize how many of your friends don’t know exactly what to say or how to be supportive. Some may retreat till the smoke clears so they don’t have to pick a side before they know what the outcome will be. Many may be scared that their own marriage may end up with a similar fate and it’s a little too close to home. Looking back on my separation and divorce, I had some friends that fell away and some friendships that blossomed totally unexpectedly. Below are some thoughts from a friend which were helpful to me during this difficult time.
Sometimes when you ask for something, you have to remember that the old ways must first dissolve to make space for the new. This ‘dissolving period’ can be so scary and it can test you on everything that you have learned up to that point.
If you love each other, and you want to continue on the same path together, you will work this out. One of the fears you are both facing is failed relationships, but there really isn’t anything like that. I think we are all in each other’s lives to learn and grow. She is in your life for a specific reason and whatever happens I know both of you are learning about yourselves and growing and that’s the bottom line. I see this as a time for both of you to take stock of your lives and reconnect with yourselves on a very deep level. Make the best of it. Don’t let fear blind you. The only advice I have is to breathe and be present and be honest, become still and go within, and without. Reconnect with yourself, then your heart and higher self will help show you the way. Ask for help, for guidance.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. it can lead to much growth and compassion and love… for yourself and each other. Love yourself for having courage to face life’s lessons. Be kind to yourself. You are doing a brave thing. Always remember as within, so without.
Another thing you will likely encounter is those that are sympathetic versus those that are empathetic. The video below explains the difference between the two in a short animated speech by Brené Brown. Make sure to fill your support team with those that are empathetic.
If you are going through divorce or a separation and feel that you need assistance, you can contact us to make a counseling appointment and one of our excellent counselors will guide you through this difficult time. You can also read more about dating and relationships counseling on our dedicated page. You can also read Coping With Divorce and How Divorce Can Turn You into Voldemort for more resources on divorce.