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Living Together for the First Time: Moving In Together Do’s and Don’ts
You’ve met, taken the time to get to know each other, fallen deeply in love, and now you’re taking the next step….moving in together! Chances are you’ve spent time in each other’s separate spaces, but if you have never lived in the same home, there may be a few things to talk about before you move in together. For an idea of where to start, take a look at these do’s and don’ts of moving in for the first time.
When it comes to finances….
Don’t be afraid to talk budget with your partner.
It can be a tough conversation, but there may be some things you just can’t afford at the moment. Creating a budget can help to divide costs accordingly between you and your partner. If one of you is in a better financial position than the other, it’s important to be honest with your partner, and discuss what part of the budget each of you can tackle, based on your individual income. If you take on more than you can handle, finances can be pulled thin, and you will only bring more stress on yourself and your relationship.
Do keep yourself organized.
When you are searching the web for places to live, keep an organized list or spreadsheet with all your expenses. This will keep all your information stored in one place and allow you to compare the costs before making your decision. It will also, help you remember which questions to ask each realtor as you are moving in. This will also, help you and your partner be transparent about finances and bills. The more organized you are, the more confident you will feel in your decision when you make it!
When it comes to the furnishings….
Don’t assume your partner doesn’t care about decor.
Once you’ve made your decision on a place to live, the next thing you’ll have to do is pick out your furniture and decor. This is an exciting step, and you’ll want to start pinning photos to your Pinterest boards right away. But, before you design your new space with only your style in mind, have a conversation about the colors or design themes that appeal to both you and your partner.. Be sure to not just assume that your partner won’t care (even about something as small as a shower curtain), because you could end up making a decision that maybe they wanted their input on. So be sure to share those Pinterest boards and ideas to make sure your space conveys both your tastes in style.
Do take the time to pick out your furniture together.
A sure-fire way to remain on the same page as you decorate your apartment is to look for the big pieces together! With larger decor pieces being an investment, it’s important to take your time and pick out something you both love. You’ll both be enjoying meals around the same kitchen table and lounging on the same living room pieces, so you both should have a say in what goes into your space. You might even learn something new about the person that you didn’t before. Maybe you both like reclaimed dining room furniture, and you may not have known that if you had shopped separately. It can be a really great bonding experience as well, for you and your partner!
When it comes to the chores….
Don’t get upset every time something is out of place.
Patience will be a huge part of moving in together, and there are bound to be frustrations that you have after moving in that you may have never noticed before. It’s a huge learning experience when sharing a space with someone for the first time, so be sure to be honest about what some of your pet peeves might be. When there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink or laundry on the floor, don’t fret, and just have a conversation with your partner about dividing up the chores to make sure you both feel comfortable in your space… Don’t let frustrations build up, and cut each other a little slack when necessary. It’s a new experience for both of you, and it will take time to adjust to each other’s lifestyles.
Do talk about expectations.
Prior to moving in, you should discuss what the expectations are for cleanliness, organization, and have guests over. You may not consider your significant other to be your roommate, but you should still discuss some pain points that may come up, and set a few ground rules. Now that you are living with your partner, you will no longer have your own space, so it will be important to talk about the expectations of your shared home. It’s also, important to address moments of alone time, and maybe pick a spot for each of you to have a place to unwind by yourselves, and allow for each other to make this little nook their own. It’s okay to not be together 24/7, and it can be healthy for your relationship to have a little time to yourselves.
For more tips, see our related articles like “Tips to Make Moving Easier” and “The Secret to Maintaining Sexual Desire.” If you would like additional tips from a certified professional, you can contact us to make a counseling appointment. You can also read about couples counseling on our dedicated page.