Accepting Anxiety

Accepting Anxiety

by Margaret Fiero

We all know anxiety is uncomfortable. It makes our hearts race, our thoughts flurry, our bodies tighten. But what if — counterintuitively — we tried accepting our anxiety instead of fighting it? It sounds appealing. But how does it work in practice?

The Problem with Resistance

Many of us assume that anxiety is something to be defeated. We may try denial, suppression, distraction — anything to reduce the discomfort. And sometimes these tactics help, temporarily. But often, resistance adds a second struggle: being anxious and judging ourselves for being anxious.

What “Acceptance” Really Means

Accepting anxiety doesn’t mean liking it or resigning ourselves to it forever. It means acknowledging its presence without letting it define us or control how we act. It’s saying, “This anxiety is natural. It is part of me. I accept myself, including this anxiety,” rather than insisting we shouldn’t feel this way.

Thought Observation: Stepping Back

One way to practice acceptance is thought observation: noticing anxious thoughts, labeling them as “just thoughts”, and letting them pass without clinging or amplifying them.

For example, when a thought like “What if everyone thinks I’m incompetent?” arises, instead of chasing it, we might think, “That’s an interesting thought. That’s all it is. It doesn’t define me.” Then — letting it go. Over time, this simple shift can feel surprisingly liberating.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) & Psychological Flexibility

The kinds of therapy that encourage mindfulness of distressing thoughts, sensations, or experiences are fairly recent: ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), Mindfulness-based approaches, and so-called “third-wave” psychotherapies.

Key principles of ACT include:

1. Acceptance of problematic or counterproductive thoughts and feelings — those we cannot, or perhaps need not, control.
2. Commitment to action: living according to one’s values, even in the presence of anxiety.
3. Psychological flexibility: being able to respond adaptively to thoughts and feelings rather than avoiding or suppressing them.

Through ACT, one learns that battling anxiety often strengthens it, but acceptance reduces the internal friction—freeing energy for values-driven living.

Two Key Findings from Research

• Meta-analytic evidence supports ACT’s effectiveness: A 2025 meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials (RCTs) involving persons with depression (many of whom also had anxiety) found that ACT significantly improved anxiety symptoms (standardized mean difference ~ −0.43), and also improved psychological flexibility. These effects were maintained at follow-up assessments. (BioMed Central)
• Mindfulness as effective as first-line medication for anxiety disorders: In a randomized clinical trial (2023), adults with anxiety disorders (generalized, social, panic, etc.) who underwent an 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program showed reductions in anxiety symptoms comparable to those treated with escitalopram (a widely used SSRI antidepressant). Mindfulness also had fewer adverse side effects. (JAMA Network)

These findings reinforce the idea that acceptance, mindfulness, and flexibility are not just “nice in theory,” but carry measurable, meaningful benefits.

Putting It Into Practice

Here are some steps, drawn from lived experience, therapeutic frameworks, and research, to try acceptance:

• Notice instead of suppress: When anxiety arises, pause. Name it. “I’m aware I’m feeling anxious.”
• Observe without judgment: Separate the thought from your identity. “That’s a thought. Not the whole story.”
• Refocus on values: What small action aligns with who you want to be, despite the anxiety?
• Let thoughts come and go: Like clouds in the sky. Acknowledge them; don’t hold on.

Even simple changes — reducing emotional suppression, letting thoughts pass without judgment — can shift the tone of our internal world. Over time, anxiety often loses some of its power.

Why This Helps

Because resistance tends to amplify anxiety, whereas acceptance can lessen its hold. When you stop fighting, you stop feeding the struggle. When you accept anxiety as part of being human, you reclaim space for your values, for freedom, for action.

If you want help putting this into practice, or want more resources, therapy (especially ACT or mindfulness-based methods) can provide guidance and support. You don’t have to go it alone.