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In this episode of Mad Men, I love how Don Draper discusses the pain of divorce. About midway through this clip he says, “Congratulations… for getting divorced. Nobody realizes how bad it has to get for that to happen. Now you get to move on.” It strikes me that whoever wrote this must have gone through a divorce. The process leading up to divorce is extremely painful and takes a lot of courage as does the grieving process following divorce. It reminds me of the importance of having people that understand your pain. In divorce, there lies an opportunity to grieve, learn lessons, move forward, and build new healthy and more compatible relationships.
Ernest Hemingway reminds me of the other side of the pain grief and divorce. He was so hurt by the loss of his first love and didn’t know what to do with his brokenness. After this divorce, he made a promise to himself stating, “I will never be dumped again.” The result was 4 failed marriages and he left the women in his life before they had a chance to. If Hemingway hadn’t been so blinded by his pain and substance abuse, I have hope that he could have healed and found wholeness. It generally comes in small waves, but it does come in time and it is possible that we can heal what has been broken in our lives.
PS – In addition to counseling, one thing that was very useful to me following my divorce were the podcasts from Life After Your Divorce. The episodes that appealed more to me in terms of content were Understanding and Handling the Grief of Divorce and Coping with your Divorce. If you feel that you need any additional help coping with divorce, you can read more about dating and relationships counseling or contact us to make a counseling appointment.