By Adam Maurer, LPC, LMFT

Date nights are essential to maintaining love in long-term relationships. Many folx are so overwhelmed with the business of living that planning a date night beyond dinner or a movie can be challenging. Hell, sometimes date night is just a bottle of wine and Netflix. As long as there is a connection, run-of-the-mill date nights can help keep a relationship on track. There are times where a bit more might be desired. Our brains crave novelty to some degree, so I’m here to help you consider some adventurous date nights. Now, be forewarned, I am a sex-positive therapist and some of my suggestions might be too spicy for you. If an activity is not for you, that is okay; I can guarantee you it is for somebody reading this beautiful blog. I will leave my sex-positive suggestions for the end.

Scavenger Hunt Date Night Ideas

Scavenger Hunt

A fun way to explore Austin is a photo scavenger hunt! Pick an area that might be new to y’all and make sure your phones are fully juiced. The brilliance of this date night is that it makes built-in memories, the photos you take can even be used to decorate your home. A fun reminder of the adventures ahead. Here is a sample scavenger hunt list, and the points you get for snapping a picture them.

If y’all have a competitive streak like me, then some pre-arranged prizes for points can be nice, such as a massage. The length of the rub can be the number of points accumulated. The fun you can have pursuing these points is really the magic of this date night adventure.

New Experience Date Night

A New Activity Together

Long-term relationships lead to ruts, and trying new activities together is one of shaking up routines to learn new things about yourselves and each other. So, pick an activity that is new to both of you to learn. It could be a bird watching or boxing. The activity itself is less important than the experience of going into the unknown together. You’ll see your love in a new light, and have more to talk about than work or the kids. If you do need a jumpstart on some ideas, check out these mama jamas.

Group Date Night

Date Night With Friends

Date night can be more than a two-person activity, group dates can be a fun way to reconnect with a partner. The energy and excitement of folx celebrating their connection with others creates synergy. I sometimes find that I am most attracted to my primary partner when I see him interacting with others. The way he tells a joke, listens lovingly to a friend, gets competitive (though he’d swear he’s not competitive); it is all a great reminder of why I picked him as a partner. Group dates allow us to see other elements of our partners that years together might not highlight the same way.

Spicy Date Night

Extra Spicy Date Night

If you’re not up for a sexier date night, that is okay. The rest of this blog is for folx who like things a little more adventurous. So take those top tips and enjoy your connection, now….for the rest of y’all!

I am a sex-positive therapist and know of a number of sexy date night adventures that are a great way to fan the flames of desire. Also, because I am very connected in the Austin sex-positive community, it is important to note that I have ongoing professional and personal relationships with many of the folx and businesses I will recommend for a spicy date night. These dates start with a hum of sexual electricity in the air, they might help you remember why you coupled up in the first place. From going to a sex shop and exploring merchandise, to participating in a workshop on sexuality, it’s all a way to connect. Follow Fat Bottom Cabaret and Bedpost Confessions on social media to know when their events will happen. If you’re interested in exploring Kinks/Fetishes on date nights and are new to the scene, join fetlife.com (the Facebook for kinksters) will help you find a local munch; meetup of kinky folx, typically at a restaurant, so that people can to get to know each other before play parties.

Any of these suggestions for date night fun will help you maintain love in a long-term relationship. If any of these suggestions seem too big a step to take, couples counseling can help ease the anxiety or tension you might be experiencing. People grow and change throughout their lifetimes, which means our ongoing relationships have to expand with us. Therapy is a great place to update your relationship contract and recommit to a partner. If you and your partner feel that you can benefit from this and that we are the right fit, you can contact us to make a counseling appointment.

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